Why is it that after working on self for many years, sometimes we still get this thought that the Ego hasn't fully dissolved?
We know that we have come very far, we are more stable, more calm and more grounded in comparison to before BUT we also know that sometimes we still operate from Ego.
It feels tiring and although we know it takes time and yet when we feel exhausted, we ask, "when will I get there?"
So, let's explore today, Why it takes so long?
Because we don't have just one Ego to tame; we have many!
Let me explain how these are formed first...
To understand this, please use your imagination a little as I explain this phenomenon with the help of an example.
Imagine a carefree child. Whenever this child wants anything, she just asks her father. Sometimes the father gives her what she wants and other times he gets angry.
Then one day the girl's mother tells her that if she wants to avoid scolding from her father, then she should observe his mood first before asking. From this point, the girl is not "free flowing" anymore. She creates a split in her - one that is more analysing now.
Not only this, soon the girl learns on her own that she can manipulate her father's mood. If he is in bad mood, then she would do something nice for him first to make him happy and then ask what she wants. This way his chances of saying NO were even less. This created another split in the already-split-once-free-flowing girl.
All these splits are collectively referred to as Ego
This is just one small incident from life. Now imagine undergoing tens of them and ending up creating few tens of such splits.
Identifying and taming just one of them is not going to dissolve the other splits and hence the Ego stays even after you work on yourself for years. Because you may not be aware of all the splits to work on!
How to identify these splits?
One quick and easy way is to become aware of what triggers you
a particular situation
some particular type of people
some particular words
some particular behaviours
some particular body languages
Whenever life offers you opportunities in the form of these triggers, then observe.
Mindfulness will help you to observe this.
Emotional Intelligence will help you to heal those spilts.
Can we help you to identify and heal these splits?
YES.
Heal your splits to dissolve the Ego systematically