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A Right Support System for Someone Going Through a Divorce

Updated: Apr 16

Rare are divorces that go smoothly without a strain.


For most people, Navigating through a divorce is undeniably one of life's most emotionally challenging journeys. The challenges differ from person to person but a few things remain common. Exhaustion, worry, and disruption in life.


Some major issues people face while going through a Divorce

As we have observed after working with so many people who have gone through a Divorce or are going through it these are some major impacts:


  • PERSONAL LEVEL


  1. Emotional Turmoil Major emotional responses show up as Grief, Sadness, Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, and Anger.

  2. Mental Distress Constant mental chatter, overthinking, inability to focus, being surrounded by negative thoughts,

  3. Lack of Confidence, Lack of Self-Esteem, Low Self-Image

  4. Insomnia/Over Sleeping

  5. Loss of health due to OVER-EATING or Lack of appetite

  6. Self-Harming Behaviors

  7. No Self-Care




  • WORK/PROFESSIONAL LEVEL


  1. Emotional and Mental Instability is a common cause of POOR WORK PERFORMANCE

  2. Inability to handle new changes or feeling overburdened with more responsibilities or tasks leading to poor work performance as well.

  3. Workaholism A lot of people indulge themselves so much in work to avoid the pain that they start ignoring their family, kids, and health.

Increase in the fear of losing the job/business leading to more stress.


  • FAMILY LEVEL


  1. Feeling frustrated and irritated with the family members

  2. Feeling judged or uncomfortable around people but not having an option to leave. Leading to more shame and guilt.

  3. Impact on relationship with kids due to lack of time, too many tasks and responsibilities, and constant stress.


 


All the people who are going through a Divorce understand the need to have a proper support system.


But these four things happen:


  1. They don't get what they need.

  2. They don't even know what they need.

  3. They get breadcrumbs support from here and there.

  4. Their support system is not robust. Even though they may have good intentions, They lack experience, skills, and time availability.

Although most people understand the need for a Good Support System very few know what a Good Support System should look like.


So, here are some pointers for you to keep in mind...


A Good Support System is Important:


  • To cope with the mental/emotional strain

  • To handle the practical issues in a more constructive way

  • To get the guidance, help motivation to overcome the hurdles

  • To have people by your side who understand you so that you don't have to go on this journey alone

  • To help reduce feelings of isolation rejection and feeling unloved. These are natural feelings while going through a traumatic experience like divorce

  • It will make it easier for you to let go

  • It helps you overcome your grief

  • This is how you can learn to embrace your self-value, which might diminish after a divorce

  • To help you shift your mindset. This shift could be what it takes to get your life back on track



What makes a Support System Good?


Trust
  • The trust serves as a fundamental foundation for creating a support system.

  • Someone going through a phase in life sharing personal struggles, fears, and vulnerabilities needs an environment where they can trust the people. Trust creates a space for open and honest communication.

  • Ensuring that a person's identity is confidential, there is mutual understanding and respect. They will not be betrayed by someone going behind their back or speaking to other people about their struggles.


Approachable and Accessible
  • When you feel like having a good friend alongside you. It is easier to speak your heart out. Isn't it? So, A good support system is made up of people who can provide you with an environment that makes you feel friendly.

  • What would you do with a support system that doesn't respond to you? A good support system is accessible to you.

Accountability
  • While the support system is understanding, it also knows that there are some actions you need to take, and there are things that you need to accept and acknowledge and face in life.

  • Along with listening to you, your support system also makes you accountable for your own growth.


Empathy
  • Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. A good support system includes people who might have gone through what you are going through or who have an understanding of how it feels to go through something like this support you not just because they are doing a good deed, but because it is much bigger and meaningful to them.

  • They have seen the journey and they go on a journey with you.

  • When you talk to someone empathetic, you feel understood, cherished, validated, and relieved. There is this voice in your mind going like “YESSS! Thank you for understanding”. 


Go on your individual unique journey, together. - Your Support System

Compassion and Sympathy
  • Compassionate support means that your support system will try to offer you the help you need; 

  • Sympathetic support means that the people in your support system care for you whenever you need them to.

In a right support place, neither empathy not compassoin or sympathy means PITY. It is there to help you realise your power and remind you that you can handle and get over this!

Lack of Judgment & Active Listening: 
  • A support system is made with people who make you feel like you are not judged

  • When you are heard, you talk! NO Advice until you become receptive to it.

Empowerment
  • A good support system will always empower you by reminding you of your strength and autonomy, self-efficacy, and resilience, enabling you to take an active role in your well-being and decision-making processes.


Empowered people, Empower People.

 





 


We did a Survey in Feb 2024 to understand the support needs of people going through a Divorce


Here are some key findings:






Based on all this research and analysis, At Anamify, We have created a Good Support System that provides you with emotional, mental, and guided support from Professionals.


So, now the question comes, Would you also find our Support System Good?



There is only one way. We believe experience is better than information.


Therefore, We invite you to join our Community and try it yourself. It's free of cost anyway.





And Don't forget to share with a friend in need.



Take care of yourself. Love, Team Anamify


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