How to deal with Toxic People

Updated: Jul 19

We all have met at least that one person in our life who just leaves us in a bad mood after talking for just a few minutes. When we realize it for a few occurrences if we are not obliged to meet that person, we can just choose not to meet them.

But what if that person is someone you live with or someone you have to meet every day at work?

You cannot avoid them and what they do is going to trigger you again and again.

Before we move forward, let's understand the term 'toxic' a little and what we mean when we say 'toxic people'

We'll go by a simple definition, 'Anyone whose words or actions or reactions on everything or any certain topic constantly lowers or drains your Energy'

It's not fair to simply label people toxic.

A few important things we need to understand before we move forward:

1) It's people's behavior that becomes toxic. It's not the whole person which is toxic.

2) We all have the right to feel low sometimes, but we bounce back and start living positively again. We all become energy drainers sometimes. There is no one who has been in a happy mood throughout his life. We all sometimes feel low. So, don't judge too early. Take some time before you label someone or even their behavior.

Watch for repetitive intentional/unintentional behavior.

3) Look at yourself too. This involves bringing a lot of Self- Awareness.

Are you getting triggered by their behavior because it brings some feeling from the past or does what you feel have only to do with what they are saying at this moment? Is it what they are asking is genuine, but you are the one reacting incessantly based on your fears or traumas of the past?

A few examples of toxic behavior can be:

1) Extreme self-centeredness

2) Manipulation

3) Emotional abuse

4) Passive Aggressive

5) Blaming others all the time

6) Self-Pity

7) Unnecessary Criticism

8) A sense of entitlement

9) Passing judgments too often

10) Incessant Attention Seeing

11) dishonesty and deceit

12) Lack of Empathy

13) A tendency to create drama or conflict

14) People Pleasing

15) Rigidness/Stubbornness

16) Controlling other people

Do these points sound familiar?

Let's get into handling this situation. We are here not talking about short-term temporary solutions, but actually long-term sustainable solutions. So If you are looking for a quick fix, this blog is not for you. If you are ready to know a sustainable process, go ahead!

1) You cannot handle situations unless you learn to handle your emotions. Raise your Self-Awareness.

That sounds like a lot of work right? But see, the other person has power over you until you react to what he does or says.

So It is not a one-way street. It is followed by your reaction too. So isn't that a part of the story?

Every time the same thing happens, every time you react the same way. T