It's not a Date. It's a Conference.

Updated: May 7

When 2 people go on a date, how many people are actually present?


2 or 4 or 6 or 20 or 50......?


You may be thinking, "Is he going mad? What is he talking about?"

If you are not sure what I'm asking, then stick around and read along...


From early childhood, we all start developing "splits" in us. These splits are the reasons why we feel confused and unsure. We use phrases like, "my mind says this but my heart says that" or "my one mind says this and my other mind says that" or "I'm double-minded, I can't decide"


Ever felt like this?


Now what causes these splits in us?

Good question.


Most kids are already quite decisive. They already know what they want. The problem is not in the kids. It's in the adults.


Adults are indecisive.

Adults are confused.

Adults over-think.

Adults over-analyse.

Adults know too much than they can handle.


When a kid is decisive and the adult is not, then they inevitably end up using words like stubborn, arrogant, attention-seeking, tantrums, etc. when interacting with the kid. These words slowly start to create doubts and confusion in the kid. If they repeatedly hear those words, then they start to believe that something is unacceptable about them. But deep down they know what they want. This is how we split a child from inside, emotionally.


Although, from outside, the child looks like one person, but from inside, there are 2. Now imagine the child experiencing this with their father, mother, brothers, sisters, teachers, grandparents, neighbours, aunts, uncles, and so on...


How many splits the child could develop potentially? Can you count?


And now imagine this child is a grown-up adult who has no idea about these splits inside them. They want to get in a relationship with another person and that person developed uncountable splits in their childhood as well.


They meet for a date and want to have a chat. Although, there are 2 people sitting, but which split of one person is talking to which split of the other person, is unpredictable. It is as-if a conference is happening.


We never know what one person could say that would trigger a split inside the other person.


There is no telling.

There is no way to predict.

There will be misunderstandings.

There will be miscommunication.


This is bound to happen.


Self-awareness is the key to open this lock


By understanding core human behaviour, I get to know more about my own splits and can also see the splits in the other person.


I can heal myself and I can assist the other person, if they want to heal too. And if they don't, then I respect that. I will continue to work on myself and become more self-aware.


Because when I see these splits, they disappear

To understand human behaviour in more depth, checkout Demystifying Human Behaviour for Self-awareness