Living in uncertain times is hard. Wars, pandemics, unable to understand which turn your Relationship is gonna take. All of these events remind us how uncertain life is. While most of us live most of our lives, believing and wanting no change, no uncertainty.
Uncertainty, if we aren't living in the present moment, can be cause of stress and can affect your emotional, mental and physical health. There’s no way to see the future and predict what it holds.
Uncertainty is a part of the human experience. Isn't it?
NOT KNOWING scares a lot of us. We are always running after knowing or at least reach a state where we can believe we know. But the moment we don't, we just freak out.
To reach a state where you can be okay with NOT KNOWING, life will be a lot easier.
And the good part it, you can learn it over a period of time and it is an extremely beneficial life skill to develop.
In fact, the more at peace we get with not knowing the more we feel content.
Instead of avoiding our fears of the unknown or what it might bring. Suppressing/denying our feelings, it brings up for us, what would happen if we stayed present with that feeling?
Uncertainty is simply a stage within a bigger area of change.
It pushes us to look beyond. It pushes us out of our comfort zone and even outgrow in places we never thought we could.
So the first question is, Is it really a bad thing?
We move out of our comfort zone, into the field of unknown, and we become a new, evolved version of ourselves and reaching this state, requires a lot of dropping, and shedding of the ego and the attachment. A lot of work to face those fears rather than allowing them to control the outcomes.
"Acceptance is reaching the state of FLOW which is Non-Resistance to whatever arises." - Anamika D.
"We don't want uncertainty, and yet we can't put to aside. It is there EVERY MOMENT."
"Acceptance means 'I'm willing to experience this uncertainty and accept it as part of my life,' not that I like it."
Acceptance is being in the present moment and acceptance of what arises inside in that moment. It cannot be of the future. Because you don't know it right? It is already UNCERTAINY. Acceptance is an active, empowered state of being in which you are grounded in the NOW. Not trying to change it or fight it, but evolve with it. We are not in resistance to what we cannot change, denying the situation and we are not indulging in the emotions of it. We are seeing what can be done out of it.
Let’s take a look at some ways to approach this process.
Ways to Work Through the UnKnowns
1. Connect with your Feelings and Learn to observe them without Resistance. Learn the art of acceptance and letting go.
When you resist your emotions, they start controlling you.
WHAT YOU RESIST, PERSISTS. Rather than trying to change your emotions, choose to feel all the emotions surrounding your uncertainty — anxiety, fear, self-doubt, restlessness. By allowing yourself to feel even difficult emotions, you can gradually work with them..
Becoming aware that a situation is out of your control can bring up fear, anxiety, and stress: emotions we’re normally taught to suppress and deny. Allow them to be there without any judgements, without trying to suppress or change them, as resistance only traps fear and causes it to grow. Practice being compassionate and non-judgmental towards yourself as you experience your emotions. Remember, They are a part of your experience.
2. Identify what you can and can’t control. Find the opportunities.
While you can’t control everything, there are a few things you do have control over.
Your attitude, mindset and perspectives in the situations are totally yours. Instead of over analyzing what may or may not happen in the future and getting trapped with fear, shift your perspective a little and see what opportunities it brings for you for growth. What new learnings it beings for you.
When you’re able to grow your tolerance of uncertainty, you also grow your adaptability – your internal resources for adjusting to new circumstances. This kind of resilience enables us to switch gears more easily and approach the future with a more open and optimistic mind.
This doesn’t just apply to the coronavirus; uncertainty is bound to recur at various stages throughout life. If you use this challenge as an opportunity to add tools to your mental wellness toolkit, they’ll be there to serve you for the rest of your life – and they’ll be ready next time you need them.
Rather than sitting and crying about what you expected, see if you can create a new plan out of the situation. Expectations are normal. You will expect certain things in life. But it is life, it is not always going to turn the way you want it. Be futuristic when you plan things, but also be flexible when new factors come into play.
TREAT IT AS A PLAY.
Instead of expecting the future to give you something you want, also focus on what you’ll do to create what you want to experience.
KEEP YOUR VISION CLEAR, BUT BE FLEXIBLE TO ALTER THE PATHS.
Predictability is an illusion we create for ourselves. The reality is that much of life is beyond our control – things around us can change at any time.
Take an inventory of what’s going on in your life at the moment, and try to determine what’s in your control and what’s not. We don’t have control over what happens in the world, but we do have control over how we choose to respond. We can choose to constantly check the news and fixate on worries about the future, or we can choose to prepare ourselves to the extent that we can.
Use this as an opportunity to reassess the basics of your life that matters the most, such your relationships and your happiness. You may find that your priorities have shifted to a more clear space where you can truly reflect on your values, and that many of the reasons of your stress were in fact not that important to you in the larger picture.
3. Invest your time on increasing your Self-Awareness and Self-Care
Working on yourself is the best thing you can do to the world. Self-care is not selfish.
Always take out sometime, to figure out what is it that you want and also what are those wonderful things you have in the present moment. Find your fears, your values and also limiting beliefs that make you limit your growth in new challenging situations.
When we give ourselves, Our mind, body and heart, some attention. We receive their sutle cues for our wellbeing. When you are not in alignment, you'll feel all the negatives covering your life. But when you are in alignment. You make the most of your present, enjoying it to the fullest and working on your vision for life.
We tend to ignore, what all amazing things we have in life. We take things that we have for granted.
Its important that we realize this and focus back on making the best out of ourselves regardless of what life brings.
4. Practice Meditation and Mindfulness
Incorporate some daily practices in your life that will help you release stress from the body and calm your mind even if just for 5-10 mins a day. They will bring phenomenal changes in your life.
Meditation is the best way to help you become more mindful, it isn’t the only approach. Sometimes, you can just feel grateful about what you love in your life. You can spend today doing things, like journaling, writing, reading, yoga, relaxing in the sun, and connecting with people I love or any activity that you enjoy doing like painting, dancing etc.
5. Remember, Nothing stays forever.
Good thing or a bad thing?
None. Just the truth.
The problem is that, we are always clinging to one thing which we want to be permanent, while resisting to the other which we don't want to experience at all.
If ever you think, life can be controlled, you can rest assured that’s an illusion. Nothing stays the same forever.
Not knowing what happens can keep you up at night, obsessing over ways to protect yourself from anything that might go wrong.
OR you can make the best out of it, enjoying every moment to the fullest because there won't be another one like that.
What’s coming tomorrow might not be easy—or it might fulfill you in ways you didn’t know to imagine. What’s certain is that it will come and when it gets here, you’ll respond to it, learn from it, and move into another tomorrow full of endless possibilities.
Remind yourself that, Today, I’m focusing on my infinite possibilities, not my fears. All that I have is the NOW, and I'll make the best out of it.
Love you.
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Thanks for Reading! I am Anamika, Life and Relationship Coach at Anamify.
At Anamify, Our goal is to take your relationships from good to great and Transforming your Relationships to more Joyful, Authentic, and Conscious Expression of Life.
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